When You're Too Close

Sometimes writing sucks. I said it, but I probably don't mean it the way you think. I don't mind staring at my outline and trying to get my fingers typing, that's fine. I don't even mind revising and trying to remember all those grammar rules.

It sucks when you are too close to apiece that you cant see that it needs to be binned. The first novel length story I wrote, I was just in love with it. With the idea, the characters, the whole universe. But it was the first thing I wrote, no outline, no plan. Its not great. Deep in there is a good story, somewhere. But no matter how long I put it aside for I cant seem to get far enough from the love for it to do the kind of revision it would need.

When I first write it the MCs fiance died at the end, but it was too hard (it wasn't right for the story, I still think letting him live in the second version was a better idea) but I wasn't thinking about that when I changed it. I loved him just as much as m MC did. He had to live, so I trashed that ending and gave them an almost happily ever after.

I wish I had saved the scene though, I think it would have helped me rewrite further. I printed a couple test copies without hardly editing it and couldn't get enough. I have ideas for expanding that universe, but without that manuscript its all for naught. But going on 10 years later, I just cant cut those first scenes I fell in love with. I have to admit defeat at some point. New ideas are coming, ones that I have the skills now to bring to fruition and see through.

I hope someday I can re-write that book. Until then, Ill just keep staring at the red pen marked-up copy on my shelf.